HetaLolwhut
by TheSemasin
Summary: Find out what the Hetalia Characters do behind the scenes of the TV show and Manga! WARNING: CRACKTASTICLY RANDOM. SWEAR WORDS AND ETC. MOST LIKELY NO PAIRING OF CHARACTERS, FEEL FREE TO SHIP AS YOU PLEASE. Rated T just because it's Hetalia.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so after the success of VocaLolwhut, I have decided to make a Hetalia version! I had a little help on this chapter from darkangel61799, but most of it was written by me. I'm sorry if it's not funny. My creative juices decided today would be a dandy day to go die in a hole and abandon me to write this. **

**Anyway, we're trying to make the Vocaloids and Hetalia Characters have the same personalities. For instance, Miku is America, Len is Japan, and Greece is Kaito. You'll notice similarities along the way, but with the Hetalia twist.**

**Enjoy~!**

Hetalolwhut

Italy: WHAT IS LOVE?! BABY DON'T HURT ME. DON'T HURT ME. NO MORE.

Japan: Um. Itary.

Italy: Si, Japan?

Japan: What are you doing.

Italy: Singing. What does it-a look like?

Japan: Weru. I thought you were kirring a cat. But I suppose singing is rogicar too.

America: WHAT A NICE **AMERICAN **SONG.

Japan: Oh Buddha no.

America: HEY THERE JAPANNNNN~~~ WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT CATS?

Japan: Oh, Itary was-

Greece: MYKITTIES *runs away like a ninja*

Japan: What. I don't…sigh…

Italy: DOITSUUUUU~ Did you-a like-a my singing?

Germany: No.

Italy: Oh…

America: AWWWWWW SSSNAAAPP. YOU JUST GOT _TOLD_.

Japan: No, rearry?

Russia: You're all idiots, da?

Lithuania: B-but Mr. Russia s-sir…

Russia: Shut up Lithuania.

Lithuania: I'M SORRRYYYYYY *fetal position in the corner*

Poland: Liek, wtf.

Hungary: POLAND. WE STOPPED WITH THE TEXT SPEAK IN VOCALOLWHUT MORON. *clonks head with frying pan*

Poland: BISH YOU JUST JELLY OF MY TOTES FANTABULOUS HAIR.

Hungary: I….um….yeah you're right ;-;

Spain: So I was talking to Toma yesterday.

Romano: Sigh….you do realize Toma is a tomato, right?

Spain: LEAVE TOMA ALONEEEEE! *sniff* HE'S ONLY HUMAAAAAN

Romano: Well actually he's a tomato.

South Korea: I CALL DIBS, BITCHES.

Spain: NUUU MY TOMA ;^;

South Korea: HE WAS TOTES MADE IN SOUTH KOREA.

Spain: Butbut ;^;

Romano: Actually I grew him in my garden. Wait wat.

South Korea: BITCHPLZ. ORIGINATED IN ITALY WANNA BE? HUMPH. BULLSHITS.

Romano: ((I used google translate. Plz dun kill me ;^;)) Me, cagna scusi? Che cosa hai appena cazzo mi chiamano? Non dire mai queste cose su di me di nuovo, o un piede sarà spinto la vostra brutta copia di un asino paese. Io sono La Repubblica d'Italia è piccola cagna. Sei solo un altro wanna-be della Cina. Quindi chiudi il culo si faccia piccolo ugello doccia.

(Excuse me, bitch? What did you just fucking call me? Don't you EVER say those things about me again, or a foot will be shoved up your sorry excuse for a country ass. I am The Republic of Italy you little bitch. You're just another wanna-be of China. So shut your ass face you little douche nozzle.)

South Korea: What.

Romano: Um…UNICORNS~

South Korea: Those originated in me, you know.

Scotland: AW HEEEEEELLL NAW.

America: FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

Japan: No.

America: FIGHT!

Japan: Nooooo.

America: FIGHT!

Japan: NO GOD DAMMIT.

Greece: FELINES!

America + Japan: …

Hungary: STFU! *clonks everyone on the head*

Poland: W00T W00T!

Austria: You people. You are so ugh.

Poland: Ahaha. Bish plz. Says the Beethoven fanboy.

Austria: HIS WORKS ARE PHENOMENAL.

Poland: SO'S YOUR MOM'S.

Austria: What.

Poland: Just kidding. I don't swing that way.

Austria: What.

Hungary: AUSTRIAAAA~ 3

Austria: SHITSHITSHITSHIT *runlikeaboss runlikeaboss*

Germany: GOOD LUCK MEIN FRIEND! *starts writing his will*

Andorra: Well. At least I have his wallet. HEY POLAND.

Poland: Hmm~?

Andorra: *holds up money* TWO WORDS.

Poland: *le sparkley eyes*

Poland + Andorra: SHOPPING. SPREE. *skipping away into the sunset*

Spain: But I thought it was morning.

Romano: And I thought you had a brain.

Spain: If I only had a brain~ *le musical number*

Romano:….. scopami. ((More Google Translate ;^; Meaning: fuck me.))

Italy: Language, fratello.

Romano: Chiudi quella cazzo di bocca. ((GOOGLE TRANSLATE. Shut the fuck up))


	2. HLW 2

**Hey, and welcome to Chapter 2! I'm so glad everyone's enjoying this! Anywho, I've added a couple characters because I can. Most of them are fan characters, but North and South Ireland are based off how Mr. Himaruya wants Ireland; either a crybaby girl or a badass guy. ('cept not in this chapter.) SO WHY NOT BOTH? Oh, and for now Wales will be a guy. I don't know, I feel it suits him. **

**As for if they're all related, I don't think so. I always saw England as just a guy who takes in little people. Like a pedo, except less bad stuff. Actual candy and that jazz.**

**And I always thought the Oceania crew were separate. Plzdon'tjudge ;-; **

**Anywho, I hope you enjoy! And applications for the Eyebrow Club are closed, sorry ):**

**Hetalia is owned by Himaruya Hidekazu**

**Some Characters and Crack are (unofficially)owned by me**

* * *

**England's (Basement) Secret Lair of Awesome**

England: AND SO I CALL FORTH THE MEETING OF THE EYEBROW CREW. NOW I SHALL BE TAKING ATTENDANCE. SCOTLAND?

Scotland: ME BAGPIPES ARE BROKEN! ;A;

England: AUSTRALIA?

Australia: MY KOALA BEARS ARE ATTACKING ME!

England: TASMANIA?

Tasmania: I CAN'T TELL IF MY CRUSH ON AMERICA IS INCEST OR NOT!

England: WY?

Wy: ACKNOWLEDGE ME DAMMIT.

England: NORTH IRELAND?

North Ireland: STAHP JUDGING ME! *manly tears*

England: SOUTH IRELAND?

South Ireland: GTFO OF IRELAND YOU WANKER! D:

England: WALES?

Wales: I hate you all.

England: CORAL ISLANDS?

Coral Islands: MY MANICURE! D': *more manly tears*

England: HUTT RIVER?

Hutt River: MY BRAIN HURTS!

England: NEW ZEALAND?

New Zealand: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS! *emotional breakdown*

England: HONG KONG?

Hong Kong: AM I EVEN AN INDEPENDENT COUNTRY?!

England: JOLLY GOOD. EVERYONE IS HERE. NOW WE MUST TAKE OVER THE WORLD AGAIN!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'S WITH ME?!

Everyone else: *emotional breakdowns*

England: …well then. *sips tea*

**ELSEWHERE, IN ENGLAND'S HUMBLE ABODE**

America: FUCK YES. HAMBURGERS MAN. *oms on hamburger*

Canada…and that's why I'm pretty sure F.A.C.E. isn't cannon. What do you think?

America: Me? Pssh, I lost you at "So, America."

Canada: ASDFGHJKL FUCKING MAPLE. WHY DOES NO ONE NOTICE ME?!

America: Did you say something?

Canada: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

England: *comes in sulking* Oh it's you bloody gits. Bloody hell're you doing here?

Canada: Well, I-

America: HAMBURGERS MAN. FOR THE WORST CHEF, YOU HAVE THE BEST KITCHEN.

England….is that a compliment or an insult?

America: IT'S A COMPLINSULT. BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE IS TOO MAINSTEAM. *switches to Hipster Glasses*

Canada: *mega facepalm*

Kumajiro: *comes in drunk with some chicks* and I was like, da fuck is Canada?

Canada: K-kumaj-jiro?!

Kumajiro: Oh, hold on babes. A, da fuck do you want, and B, DA FUCK ARE YOU?!

Canada: I'M CANADA YOU ASS. Why the hell do you have women here?!

Kumajiro: I came to fuck some bitches. I'm not giving my dream up now. *puts sunglasses on and walks back to the chicks and leads them to the guest room*

Canada: What…just…happened…

Japan: *comes sneaking in like a ninja and follows Kumajiro* Yes. This wirr make the perfect Hentai Manga. *^*

America: He had kickass glasses.

England: Am I on drugs or something?

Canada: I ask myself that question every day.

Tasmania: *comes running up from the basement* ENGLAND! SCOTLAND GOT DRUNK AND HE'S BREAKING TEAPOTS AGAIN!

England: NOT AGAIN. ANYTHING ELSE?!

Tasmania: Well, we're pretty sure Hong Kong's stoned because he keeps trying to hit on South Ireland. Just a few more seconds and she's gonna lose it.

England: It's like the Opium War all over again. Hold on guys, I'll be ri- actually, I've changed my mind. GTFO OF MY HOUSE!

America: BUTBUT-

Canada: *drags him by the cowlick* COME ON FATASS.

America: BUT AERICA IS GONNA BE HOME WITH MERI AND I DON'T WANNA DEAL WITH HER ;-;

Canada: *drags him outside* GROW SOME BALLS AND FACE IT LIKE A MAN.

Austria: *running down the street* MEIN GOTT SOMEONE SAVE MEEEEEEEEEEE TTATT

Hungary: *chasing after him with frying pan* COME BACK HERE AND LOVE ME!

Austria: STAHP HANGING OUT WITH BELARUS YOU CRAZY BITCH

Canada:…should we do something?

America: Well it would be the right thing to do…

America + Canada:….NAAAAAAAAAH. *walk home like friggen gangsters*

Austria: WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Canada: I ASK MYSELF THAT QUESTION EVERY DAY.


	3. HLW 3

**Okay so here's chapter 3 .u.**

**As for Aerica, read more about it here: She's only supposed to be about Sealand's age.**

**Meri is interchangeable. She'll be known as Confederate, as in the Confederate States of America, or Meri, short for America.**

**Saugeais is also a micronation.**

**W00T Micronation party.**

**I apologize for the OOC ness. **

**Anyway, the Awesome Prussia hopes you enjoy. **

**Hetalia is owned by Himaruya Hidekazu**

**Some Characters and Crack are (unofficially)owned by me.**

* * *

**LATER, AT CANADA'S ABODE**

Canada: Lulu, I'm home. ((Aerica's human name is Talulah Williams))

Aerica: BIG BROTHEEEEEEEEER~ *rainbow glomp*

America: Please hide me Canadia ;~;

Canada: *facepalm*

Aerica: IS THIS BIG BROTHER AMERICA I SEE?

America: OMGOMGOMGOMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *gets rainbow glomped*

Aerica: I LOVE YOU BIG BROTHER!

America: WHY WORLD?! WHY DID YOU CURSE ME WITH THIS?! *manly tears*

Canada: She's not _that _bad.

Aerica: Big brother, the Martians told me that babies don't come from storks.

America: There are no such things as Martians.

Aerica: SHUN THE NON BELIEVER *^* *wavy arms*

America: *facepalm*

Confederate: *comes waltzing in* OH LOOK. BIG BROTHER HAS A GIRLFRIEND THAT'S _NOT _A TOTAL WHORE. Seriously dude, I'm never dropping that Snookie thing.

America: GOD DAMNIT MERI.

Canada: Lol.

Aerica: What's a Snookie?

Confederate: Well, It's worse than a Ke$ha, and almost as bad as a Justin Bieber *glares at Canada*

Canada: WELL THEN.

America: Lol.

Aerica: That really doesn't answer my question.

America: But NOTHING is worse than Honey Boo Boo.

Confederate: Two Words: One Direction. God Damnit Iggy. Just when we liked you for the Beatles.

Aerica: I'M SO LOST. *sits in the corner*

France: *is sitting in their bushes outside, taking pictures* and this, mon fleur, is how to make money with Japan.

Saugeais: Mais, you're just taking photos, mon frère.

France: *rape face* Exactly. *takes more*

Saugeais: *shrugs and watches*

Confederate: *walks to the window* I SMELL YOU, FRANCE *^*

France: MERDE. NOUS ALLONS, SAUGEAIS! *takes her hand and dashes away*

Confederate and Canada: WE SPEAK FRENCH MORON.

America: What the fuck.

Aerica: I don't even know. Ima go stalk Sealand on the internet. *le flying away*

America:…I don't get that child.

Prussia: *kicks down the door with Denmark* AMERICA. JOU. ME. DENMARK. DRINKING. BAR. NOW.

Denmark: JEAH, VHAT HE SAID.

America: I can dig it.

Russia: *falls through the ceiling* VODKAAAAAAAAAA *crash*

Lithuania: NOT AGAIN!

China: *apatheticness* Dammit aru, I knew I should've stopped him. Oh well~!

Lithuania: THE MEDICAL BILL IS GOING TO EXPLODE.

Canada: MY FUCKING CEILING!

Confederate:….shiiiiiiiiiiit dude.

America: CAN I GO TO THE BAR NOW.

Prussia: Zhe Ore-sama agrees. Let's get zhe hell out of here.

Denmark: Hell jeah. *drags America by the cowlick*

America: WHY CRUEL WORLDDDD WHY THE HAIIIIIRRRRRR

Confederate: SUCK IT UP. *sips tea like a bawss*

Aerica: *walks back into the room* WELL, I'M GONNA GO FLY OVER TO HANG OUT WITH SEALAND AND SAUGEAIS.

Confederate: We have a gaping hole in our ceiling and an injured Russian on the floor. And you want to leave, to hang out with SEALAND.

Aerica: Yup!

Confederate: FRIGGEN SEALAND.

Aerica: Yuuuup!

Confederate: GTFO. You shame me.

China: Aiyaaaaaaaaaa aru

Lithuania: Hey Confederate, may I have some tea?

Confederate: NOYOUMAYNOT.

Russia: Can I have some tea, Malen'kaya Meri? ((Google translate ;-; Meaning: Little Meri))

Confederate: Of course, Russia!

Lithuania: WTF

Russia: Shut up, Lithuania.

Lithuania: I'M SORRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Russia: Chertovski verno vy ((Google Translate, Damn Straight you are))

Lithuania: Meep.

Confederate: *brings tea to Russia* Here you go!

Russia: Spasibo!((Thank You!))

Aerica: YOU ALL HAVE FLUFFYBUTTS. *flies out the ceiling hole*

Confederate: You know what, I'm bored. It's Canada and it's cold. I'm going back to America. Peace out mah homies. *leaves*

China: Well I guess you're going to miss….the panty raid….aru.


	4. HLW 4

**For some reason, the link to Aerica didn't show up. So, just search up the Aerican Empire or a list of micronations and then click our trusty friend Wikipedia for answers.**

**Cough Sarcasm Cough.**

**Ahem.**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews! I was afraid this was gonna be horrible considering it's a parody of Hetalia. And that's a parody of the friggen world.**

**So, thank you for all the wonderful reviews, and I'll try to refrain from being OOC.**

**Hetalia is owned by Himaruya Hidekazu**

**Some Characters and Crack are (unofficially)owned by me.**

* * *

France: DID SOMEONE SAY PANTIES?! *pokes head in the ceiling hole from the top*

China: I did, aru.

Lithuania: OH MY GOD CEILING FRANCE. IT'S ALMOST AS BAD AS CEILING CAT .A.

Spain: I LIKE PANTIES.

France: Where did you come from, Spain?

Spain: Rome.

France:...pardon.

Spain: .u.

Romano: *comes out from the shadows* Ya know, that was so wrong, yet at the same time, historically correct.

Spain: I try.

Confederate: ROMAAAANOOOOOOOO *glomps*

Spain: WAT. NO GLOMP FOR UNCLE SPAIN?

Romano: Uh..um..uh…*blushing and all that jazz*

Confederate: NU UH. YOU'RE TOO CREEPY TO GET A GLOMP. SRSLYBRO. THINK OF THE FLAMINGOES.

Spain: *laughs* ahhh….and you think France is bad….

Romano: NOT-A DIS SHIT AGAIN.

Confederate: MY WHOLE CHILDHOOD WAS A LIE.

Lithuania: Um, there's still a hole in the ceiling.

England: *flies over on unicorn* NOT IF I CAN STOP THAT. *fixes it with magical continuity powers*

Lithuania:…I think the air has drugs in it.

Russia: Stop thinking.

China: I agree with Russia on this one, aru.

Russia: Really? *turns to face China* ^J^

China: UMMMM. oAo||||

Lithuania: Why is it always me?

Canada: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL.

China: Did someone say something, aru?

Canada: FUCK IT ALL. I FUCKING GIVE UP. *epic double table flip*

Confederate: MY FUCKING TABLES!

America: *kicks door open* I'M BACK~!

Everyone: NOBODY GIVES A SHIT.

Denmark: WOOOOOOOOOO lolidk.

Prussia: AWESOMENESS POWERS ACTIVATE!

*everyone gets transported away except Canada, America, Denmark, Prussia, and Confederate*

Canada:…what just happe-

Prussia: I'M AWESOME

**THE NEXT DAY**

America: *is walking through the park with Japan* TODAY IS A WONDERFUL DAY TO BE HEROIC. DON'T YOU AGREE?

Japan: Um…I guess so…

America: YEAH. BEING A HERO IS SO HEROIC.

Japan:….yup.

Russia: *comes walking up with China* My children are going to be visiting tomorrow!

America: WAIT YOU HAVE KIDS?!

Russia: Дa.

Japan: *chokes on saliva*

America: WHO THE HELL WOULD WANT TO DO YOU?!

Russia: You'd be surprised.

China: And somehow I'm the mom…

Japan: *chokes again*

America: CHINA. YOU'RE A FEMALE?!

China: NO ARU. BUT I'M THE MOM.

America: BUT TO MAKE BABIES YOU NEED A MAN AND A WOMAN!

Aerica: *is stalking in the background* Oh my god. This is so going on my blog.

Sealand: BABIES DON'T COME FROM STORKS?!

Aerica: And Santa Clause doesn't exist. Get over yourself.

Sealand: BUTBUT.

Aerica: I SAID STFU YOU PANSY.

Japan: The RoChu is killing me.

America: HOLYSHITHOWDOESTHISWORKOHMAIGAWDIDON'TUNDERSTANDTH ISSHIT

China: I don't think anyone does aru.

Sealand: *goes running past everyone* MY LIFE IS A LIE!

Aerica: *runs after him* COME BACK SEA-KUN DESU YOOOOO!

America: WHEN THE HELL DID YOU GET HERE?!

Japan: I SHIP IT.

Everyone else: ….

Japan:….You arr heard nothing *^* *backs away into the darkness with hentai*

America:….Well then.

Russia: Indeed.

China: Wonderful. COMMUNISTS AWAAAAAAAY~ Aru. *drags Russia away*

America: Friggen Commies. *walks away like a hero*

Aerica: WAIT! Nooooooo I'm alone ;^; Oh well. I'll have to contact my colony on Mars to pick me up. *sits on a garbage can*


	5. HLW 5

**Sorry for the late update! I've added in two more OCs I think you'll enjoy. It's Serbia, female, and Montenegro, male. DOn't know those countries? Well you should. Look them up. Oh and Kosovo's there too. Male. **

**Anyway, I'm working really hard on Hetalolwhut and I've got a lot done, so I should be able to update more frequently. Remember, if you like it, make sure to favourite! Or not. You're choice.**

**Also, who's your favourite character? Tell me in the reviews, and I'll be sure to add more of them. Also, if there's a character I haven't used either at all or a lot of, tell me and I'll incorporate them. Thanks for all the support!**

* * *

**LATER**

Serbia:*casually reading a novel*

Montenegro: YO TWINNIEEEE~*comes running up*

Serbia: Sigh….What is it Montenegro?

Montenegro: LOOK WHAT ME AND BIG BROTHER BULGARIA GOOOOT~!

Serbia: Oh god nothing good happens when you're with Bulgaria.

Montenegro: I GOT A PENIS PEN! *shows the pen*

Serbia: *facepalms* Because that's what you show a girl.

Montenegro: ISN'T IT SOOOOO COOL TWINNIE? I KNOW YOU'RE SO JEALOUS.

Serbia: *just nodding while reading* Uh huh….totally….mmhmm.

Montenegro: *pouts* What the hell? I thought you'd LOOOVEE a penis pen. ConsideringyounevergettheDinthefirstplace

Serbia: *hits Montenegro with a book* BECAUSE YOU'RE SUCH A SEX MANIAC.

Montenegro: I'll have you know I get more than you.

Serbia: Because nothing turns on a girl more than a penis pen.

Montenegro: Well Turkey agreed with me.

Serbia: Turkey's all kinds of Special.

Bulgaria: *comes waltzing in with Romania* Isn't it just faaaaaaaaaabulous~?

Romania: Not really. But have fun in your fantasies.

Serbia: Why the fuck are you all in my house.

Bulgaria: So Eddy~

Romania: I'M NOT A FUCKING VAMPIRE.

Montenegro: Pssh. Like we believe that.

Bulgaria: Yeah man. You naturally ~SPARKLE~

Romania: What the fu- NO I DO NOT SPARKLE.

Greece: Yeah, you kind of do.

Serbia: What.

Romania: Oh my bloody- MONTENEGRO STOP TOUCHING MY HAT.

Montenegro: Butbut. It's so tiny and adorable!

Romania: Why. Why do you keep bothering me after we became independent.

Montenegro: BUT ROMMMMAAAANNNNIIIIAAAAAA

Bulgaria: *puts his arm around Serbia* So Serbiaaaa~ How's my favourite Mass Murdering, Crazy-Ass, One-Eyed, Not-Gonna-Take-Your-Shit-For-All-The-Money-In-The- World, Gender-Confused-As-A-Child, Schizophrenic-But-Not-Really, Evil Genius, Bullied-By-Me-Monty-And-Hungary, Yugoslavian Psychopath doing?

Serbia: Well I was good. But then you showed up. And for the record, I never confirmed I was a male, you and the rest of the world just assumed.

Bulgaria: Pfft. Details.

Serbia: *death glare*

Bulgaria: What? You still pissed over that whole "Second Balkan War" thing?

Serbia: I worked with _TURKEY_. I'm never fucking forgiving you.

Montenegro: I WANT YOUR HAT ROMANIA! *glomps*

Romania: WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR FAMILY SO WEIRD, SERBIA?!

Serbia: I wish I knew.

Hungary: *barges in with a giant bag* I HEARD WE'RE HAVING A FAMILY REUNION!

Serbia: HUNGARY IF YOU BRO-

Kosovo: HELLO WORLD AND ALL WHOM INHABIT IT~!

Serbia: FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.

Hungary: That's what Croatia said!

Montenegro: Hey Hunny, what's in the bag?

Romania: Ohhh booy.

Hungary: Oh y'know….just….stuff….

Serbia: It's Austria isn't it.

Hungary: POOOOOOSSSIIIIBLLYYYYYY~

Austria: *from inside the bag* MMM! MMMMMM!

Hungary: Ssshh my love. We shall be together soon. *strokes the bag*

Austria: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM! TT-TT

Greece: And to think, Prussia loved _that._

Serbia: And to think we're related. I mean, as a child I slaughtered shit-tons of people. In cold blood no less! But I was never this crazy.

Greece:….Do you think this is where Montenegro gets it from?

Serbia:….Holy hell.

Montenegro: *phone rings and plays Nyan Cat* Ah shit, I gotta take this. *picks up phone* Hello~?... Oh hey, Aerica!...They can't?...Sure! I'll be over ASAP!...See you! *click*

Romania: My poor hat was molested almost as badly as Austria. *strokes hat*

Montenegro: I'll be back soon, I gotta pick up Aerica. The Martians are busy and the Plutonians are at Jupiter for a Space-Conference. *leaves*

Greece: What are you waiting for? LOCKTHEDOORSOHECAN'TCOMEBACK!

Serbia: I would, but he has a key from the time we were Yugoslavia together.

Hungary: Goooooood Tiiiiiimes~

Austria: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!

Romania: Hungary, you're seriously starting to become Belarus. Drop the fucking bag, and let Austria go.

Hungary: *goes up to Romania* Excuse me, bitch? But last time I checked, a wanna-be Dracula didn't tell me what to do.

Romania: OH IT. IS FUCKING. **ON.**

*Hungary and Romania start fighting intensely*


	6. HLW 6

**Random Crack. Yay.**

**But what more do you expect from a crack fanfic?**

**And to make it crackier, here's a reference.**

**ICELAND X FRIDGE FOR LIFE**

***u***

**Teehee.**

**ON TO THE CRACK~!**

**Also, who's your favourite character? Tell me in the reviews, and I'll be sure to add more of them. Also, if there's a character I haven't used either at all or a lot of, tell me and I'll incorporate them. Thanks for all the support!**

* * *

Serbia: Come on, Greece. Let's set Austria free.

Greece: Okay. *starts trying to untie the knot* Goddamn was she a boy scout or something?!

Aerica: *flies in on an Eagle with Montenegro* EAGLE SCOUTS BITCH!

Kosovo: AW HELL YEAH!

Serbia: *cuts the bag with a sword* GTFO AUSTRIA.

Hungary: *hisses* MY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Romania: *tackles*

Austria: I HATE MY LIFE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!

America: *kicks open door* WHERE THE HELL IS AERICA?!

Serbia: What the fuck America. Now I need a new door. Again.

Kosovo: Wait. Didn't everyone else break the door already?

Serbia + America:….STFU. Nobody asked you.

Aerica: I LIKE PONIES!

Poland: WELL PONIES DON'T LIKE YOU.

Serbia: WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ALL COMING FROM?!

Aerica: VERDEN! ((Google Image it))

Kosovo: WHAT THE HELL IS A VERDEN?!

Hungary: WHO THE HELL CARES?!

Romania: STFU! *goes back to fighting Hungary*

Russia: *bursts in with China and Miku and Ron* Party, DAAAAAAAAA?

Miku: HELL YEAH! *throws glow sticks everywhere*

Bulgaria: WHAT IS THIS

Kosovo: Hey I wanna-

Serbia: No Kosovo. Shut up and get out. You're not wanted here.

Kosovo: But I-

Serbia: YOUARENOTWANTEDHERE.

Kosovo: OKAY OKAY GEEZ. *leaves*

Ron: MOMMYYYYY I wanna go to Friendly's.

China: Oh my god, Ron. Stop your bitching about Friendly's, aru.

Miku: We'll go to Friendly's after the party!

Serbia: Um, Russia, I know we're like, best friends and all, but what are you doing in my house?

Russia: We came to visit you, da?

Serbia: About that…Who's we?

Russia: Me, China, and our children.

Serbia: YOUR WHAT.

Miku: AUNTY SERBIAAAAA~ COME PARTY WITH ME, AERICA, BULGARIA AND UNCLE MONTENEGRO!

Serbia: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE KIDS?!

Aerica: mon cul est en feu. ((My Ass is on fire))

Montenegro: Ја не разумем ваше страни језик! ((I don't understand your foreign language!))

Serbia: То је француски, ти глупан ((It's French, you dunderhead.))

Miku: Вы, люди, так странно. Мы не можем просто бредят в мире? ((You people are so weird. Can't we just rave in peace?))

China: 哎呀〜〜〜 ((Aiya~~~))

Bulgaria: Румъния. Да отидем в Hooters. ((Romania. Let's go to Hooters))

Romania: Cum de nu. ((How about no.))

Hungary: Ausztria ~ Hol vagy? ((Austria~ Where are you?))

Austria: OH MEIN GOTT RETTE MICH! ((OH MY GOD SAVE ME!))

America: LET'S ALL SPEAK ENGLISH NOW, KAY? KAY. BECAUSE ENGLISH IS THE BEST.

Everyone but Aerica: OH YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE.

Miku: JUST SHUT UP EVERYONE.

Ron: You have a phone call from Yuuma.

Miku: Really? Okay, I'll be right back. *takes phone and leaves*

Montenegro: Okay, we're all speaking English now. Happy?

America: Very.

South Korea: ENGLISHORIGINATEDI-

Serbia: GET THE FUCK OUT!

South Korea: Okay. But first…

China: Oh god aru.

South Korea: ANIKIIIIIIIIII *starts poking China*

Ron: STAHP SEXUALLY ABUSING MOMMY! *starts poking South Korea*

China: WAT.

Russia: It's like Hong Kong all over again, da?

China: OH MY GOD NO ARU. DON'T BRING THAT UP AGAIN.

America: Lol you're all stupid.

South Korea: ANIKIIIIIII WANNA SEE WHERE MY MANHOOD ORIGINATED FROM?!

China: OH MY GOD NO ARU PLEASE.

South Korea: No means yes~!

America: #YoloSwag

Everyone else:….No. Just. No.


	7. HLW 7

**Quick Update FTW!**

**So, here's more crack to brighten up your day.**

**I'm working fast to write more. The end of this little saga thing has already been finished. **

**So. Q+A anyone?**

**No?**

**Okay.**

**Also, who's your favourite character? Tell me in the reviews, and I'll be sure to add more of them. Also, if there's a character I haven't used either at all or a lot of, tell me and I'll incorporate them. Thanks for all the support!**

* * *

America: You just jelly.

Russia: And you need education, da? I'm Russian and I can speak better English than you.

America: ARE YOU CALLIN ME STUPID, FATTY?!

Russia: And you're one to talk about fat?

Aerica: OOOOOH SICK BURNNNNNNNN

Miku: RON. MIZKI'S HELD A FUCKING PARTY. WITHOUT ME.

Ron: Oh boy. BYE EVERYONE~ WE HAVE A PARTY TO RUIN~ *leaves with a raging Miku (see Vocalolwhut for the party)

Bulgaria: TELL SPAIN I OWE HIM MONEY

Romania: Penis Pen?

Bulgaria: Penis Pen.

Hungary: Where did Austria go?!

Greece: Oh. He climbed out the back window five minutes ago screaming FREEEEEDOOOOOOOM~!

America and Hungary: THAT LITTLE BITCH.

South Korea: FREEDOM ORIGINATED IN-

America: *kicks South Korea out the window* DENIED, BITCH.

Kosovo: Hey Aerica, wanna go-

Aerica: *gets a flying llama to land on him* DENIED. Ibelongtosealandanadselandonly.

Kosovo: Wat.

Aerica: Wat.

Russia: You're all idiots, da? Da.

Aerica: WE PREFER THE TERM SOCIALLY CHALLENGED.

Kosovo: But I thought Sealand liked Saugeais…

Aerica: WELL STOP THINKING. *kicks Kosovo out the window*

China: Oh my god aru. It's mini UsUk and FrUk!

America: Say what now?

Aerica: Butbut. The last time Japan asked England about that England turned a really icky shade of ivory and flipped him off, walking away grumbling "You goddamn twat" and et cetera.

Serbia: That's great and all, but why are you people still in my house?

Everyone but Russia, Serbia, Bulgaria and Montenegro: I don't know. (aru)

Russia: Because I want to be here, da?

Montenegro: Well, the time this takes place in isn't specified, so for all we know we can still be Yugoslavia. *mind blown to bits lolnope we wish*

Bulgaria: PENISSS PENNNNNN

Romania: I'm only here because Bulgaria dragged me here.

China: I came with Russia, Miku, and Ron.

Aerica: Monty brought me here.

America: BECAUSE I'M THE HERO!

Serbia: And for that, gtfo.

America: Butbut-

Serbia: Listen dude. You're my friend. BUT THIS IS CRACK. NOTHING IS CANNON. STOP. BEING. CANNON.

Montenegro: Well there goes the fourth wall.

Russia: The fourth wall's a bitch.

Aerica: What's a fourth wall?

China: Great job, aru. Now she's asking questions.

Aerica: Seriously, what's a fourth wall?!

Montenegro: WE'RE DOOOOMED.

America: Well, the fourth wall i-

Serbia: I SAID GTFO AMERICA. YOUR CANNON IS NOT WANTED IN OUR CRACK.

Montenegro: YOU'RE SLAUGHTERING THE FOURTH WALL GOD DAMMIT

Bulgaria: OHHH THE PAAAAINNNN

Romania: Um. What.

Bulgaria: WHY CRUEL WORLDDDDD

Hungary: Whatever. *bakes a cake just cause*

Aerica: WHAT IS A FOURTH WALL?!

Russia: Them. *points to you*

Aerica: *stares at you* How long have they been there?

Russia: From the beginning.

Aerica:…oh….okay then…

China: And there it goes. *waves to you* 你好, aru.((Hello))

Russia: привет!((Hello))

Serbia + Montenegro: здраво.((Hello))

Bulgaria: Здравейте ((Hello))

Romania: Alo ((Hello))

Hungary: Szia ((Hello))

Aerica: Um…hello…

America: YO YO YO WAZZUP MOTHA FUCKAS?!

Fake God: Uh huh. Now I shall wipe your minds. You never knew about the fourth wall…

Russia: фигня.((Bullshit))

*Fake God wipes everyone but Russia's mind*


	8. HLW 8

**WHERE HAS THE TIME GONE HOLY CRAP.**

**I'm so so sooooooo sorroy for the super late update! **

**At this point in the story I'm just adding characters. But whatever.**

**Laos and North Korea are hermaphrodites, okay? They don't have official genders. Make it as you will.**

**So yeah, enjoy!**

* * *

Russia: I must consult Hungary and Estonia on how to deal with that God, kolkolkol

China: What God, aru?

Russia: Nothing, маленький идиот. ((Little idiot))

China: Whatever, aru.

Aerica: What was I doing here again?

America: Lolidk.

Aerica: Hey, big brother! Can we go to McDonald's?

America: BUT THEN MY MCDONALD'S WILL BE TAINTED WITH AERICA-NESS!

Aerica: Well screw you then. I'll go by myself. *flies away*

America: Well then I'll go to Long Island and go to All American Burgers in Massapequa. BITCH. *flies out on eagle*

Serbia: I've never heard of that place before.

Montenegro: Neither have I.

Bulgaria: THISCAKE IS AMAZING HUNGARY!

Hungary: When the fuck did I bake a cake?

Bulgaria: I DON'T KNOW BUT I- *holds mouth and run to the bathroom and pukes*

Serbia: AW GODDAMMIT.

Romania: WHAT DID YOU PUT IN IT?!

Hungary: WHEN DID I MAKE IT?!

China: I THINK I'M GOING THROUGH MY MIDLIFE CRISIS ARU!

Russia: Kolkolkol, you're all so silly.

Montenegro: What the hell China. Calm your tits bro.

Romania: Well I guess I have to take Bulgaria to the cemeta- I mean the doctor. Bye now. *leaves with Bulgaria*

Serbia: He pukes in my bathroom and expects to live. *gets out sword* I think I might have to go to war with him. AGAIN.

Montenegro: I'LL HELP :D

Serbia: You're useless. I'll ask Greece.

Hungary:…what happened to Greece?

Greece: *snoring*

Everyone but Russia: Oh. (aru)

Russia: Da.

Serbia: Oh well. Who wants to go to Uno's?

Everyone: MEEE!

South Korea: UNOSORIGINATEDI-*gets a brick to his balls*

Everyone: SHUT THE FUCK UP.

AND THEN THEY WENT TO UNO'S.

THE END NO NOT REALLY.

**ACT ADRESSING THE CANONESS**

Prussia: Me and my awesomeness make awesome awesome things!

Canada: Who the hell are you?

Prussia: I'm the goddman awesome man. Who are you?

Canada: I'm Canada. I don't think we ever talked in Canon.

Prussia: Ah! This one time Cuba gave me pancakes and maple syrup he said were from Canada! Is that true?

Canada: Yeah, it is.

Prussia: THEY. WERE. AWESOME. Like me.

Canada: Oh, I'm glad that you liked them!

Prussia: Why aren't you saying eh?

Canada:…what?

Prussia: Canadians say eh.

Canada: That's just a stereotype. A-

Prussia: THIS WHOLE FUCKING SHOW IS A STEREOTYPE! SO WHY ARE YOU NOT A STEREOTYPE THAT SAYS EH LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?! THAT'S SO UNAWESOMELY UNFAIR!

Canada: WHY ARE YOU A LEFT HANDED ALBINO?! DIDN'T THEY GET PERSECUTED?!

Prussia:….good point.

Canada: And besides. It's Himaruya's fa- *shot with a tranquilizer*

Prussia: WHAT THE-

China: Sorry Prussia. But you saw nothing, aru.

Cuba: As the Communists of the world, it is our duty to protect the fourth wall.

Prussia: WE HAD A WHOLE FRIGGEN SCENE ON BREAKING THE FOURTH WA- *shot with tranquilizer*

Vietnam: Goddamn cocky bastard.

North Korea: Now we must hide them in the basement. Of America's house.

Cuba: Why America?

North Korea: Because. We will blame the Capitalists.

Vietnam: Good idea!

China: Okay. Let's take my Chinese trading route, aru.

North Korea: We're in maybe America. How the hell do you have a trading route?

China: Because shut up. Aru.

South Korea: HEY GUYS~!

China: Oh god not again.

South Korea: So why are Prussia and Canada knocked out?

Cuba: Um…

South Korea: And why do you guys have Syringes?

Vietnam: Uuummmm….

North Korea: The internet?

South Korea: OH OKAY~!

Laos: Actually they tranquilized them.

Vietnam:…

North Korea:….

Cuba:…

China: Get the fuck out, aru.

Laos: But I-

China: I SAID GET THE FUCK OUT!

Laos: FI-

China: ARU.

Laos:…FINE. *leaves*

China: And that's why Laos isn't a character. Or the People's Republic of China. Aru.

North Korea: Kay then.

South Korea: You do realize the UN is gonna kill you guys, right?

Vietnam: I'm not worried about that failure. I'm worried about the fangirls.

South Korea: How so?

Vietnam: We killed the PruCan.

Cuba: Isn't that uncanon though?

North Korea: WELL ACTUALLY, Prussia and Canada talked once in the 2009 blog hijack.

Vietnam: NOBODY CARES, DIPSHIT.

South Korea: NOT CARING ORIGINATED IN SOUTH KOREA

North Korea: I SWEAR TO FUCKING BUDDAH.

Cuba: A what?

China: DON'T BE STUPID ARU!

Cuba: I'M NOT STUPID!

*everyone is fighting*


	9. HLW 9

**Before I typed the Admin stuff, there was 666 words e u e**

**Anyway,**

**I finished this. I had NO idea what to do for this. It was such a horrible chapter, I know, but hey.**

**As for the personalities, remember, this is CRACK. Nothing's as it should be.**

**Except for maybe America. But he's special.**

**Anyway, enjoy the next chapter! **

**I don't own Hetalia, Hidekaz Himaruya does.**

**Lucky Bastard.**

* * *

*everyone is fighting*

Vietnam: Oh god.

France: *saunters in with Spain* And I was like- MATHIEU! WHAT HAPPENED?!"!?

Spain: Oh no! Prussia! Mi amigo!

Prussia: *jumps up and scares the shit out of everyone* KESESESESE I FOOLED YOU I WAS NEVER KNOCKED OUT *u*

China: WTF HOW ARU

Prussia: *Armstrong pose* I AM THE GODDAMN AWESOME MAN *sparkle twinkle*

France: *le facepalm* Of course you are, mon stupid ami.

Spain: Glad to see you're okay, mi amigo.

Prussia: *shakes Canada vigorously* WAKE UP CANDAAAA

Canada: *groggy* Oh dear mapleee….

Prussia: Good, now let's all get out of here before they try to stop us!

China: AW HELL NAW ARU.

North Korea: *still fighting with Cuba*

Cuba: *fighting North Korea*

Vietnam: ._.

South Korea: *rolling around*

China: I'm surrounded by idiots, aru.

Prussia: *kicks China in the balls* AND MY FOOT IN YOUR BALLS, CAPTIANNNNN PLANET!

China: *collapses* GOD…..DAMMT…..ARUUU…..

*Prussia, Spain, France, Canada, and a rolling South Korea escape*

Vietnam: Well there goes that. I'm going to IHOP.

THE END ah fuck it let's just get to the next scene.

**ACT SPARKLEY GERMAN PEOPLE**

Sealand: *le browsing the internet* Lol I love looking up cat porn on youtube.

Finland: *walks in*MOIMOI SEALAND. WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY MISTER?

Sealand: UH…I SAID…UH….SPARKLE PARTIES. I LOVE LOOKING UP SPARKLE PARTIES ON YOUTUBE.

Finland: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU. THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS A SPARKLE PARTY.

Sealand: OHRLY

Sweden: Yeah really.

Finland + Sealand:…..

Sweden: Whut.

Finland: Where did you come from?

Sweden: My mum.

Finland:…

Sweden:….

Sealand:….so babies don't come from storks?

Finland: *smacks Sealand* GET THE DAMN SPARKLE PARTY.

Sealand: Fine! *plays German Sparkle Party*

Finland: o3o

Sweden: o-e

Sealand: 0Q0

**THE NEXT DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY**

Germany: *is totally not reading porn*

Sealand: vigorously knocks on the door* MR. GERMANYYYYYYYY

Germany: *throws porn behind him and walks to the door* Yes Sealand?

Seland: GERMANY. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU SPARKLED?

Germany:….what.

Sealand: DUUHHH GERMAN SPARKLE PARTIES!

Germany: *dramatic gasp* HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THOSE. THEY ARE SACRED TO THE GERMAN PEOPLE.

Sealand:…the internet…

Germany: *points to the computer* YOU FIENDDDDDD!1!

Prussia: *bursts through the door* OI, WEST!

Germany: WHAT THE SCHIESSE DO YOU WANT?!

Prussia: I NOW HAVE MORE APPERANCES THAN BOTH YOU AND AUSTRIA COMBINED! KESESESESEEE!

Germany: DU VERDAMMTER SCHLAMPE!

Prussia: *saunters in and opens a coke can* WEST. NO CALLING ME A FUCKING BITCH INFRONT OF CHILDREN!  
Sealand:….

Austria: *bursts through the door* LORD DOITSU HELP Me hungary is going to kill me! (screaming to whisper)

Sealand: Lord what now?

Germany: I'm god, okay? Now shut up.

Sealand: WAIT WHAT.

Hungary: *banging on the door* AUSTRIAAAAA~ COME OUT HERE MY LOVE~~~

Austria: (Whisper-Yell) THIS IS WHY I DIVORCED HER!

Germany: High Priest Preußen, fetch me the communications device!

Prussia: Yes, my lord. *fetches his iPhone*

Sealand: That's a phone.

Austria: HUSH, CHILD.

Germany: *dials a number and waits* Ah, Miss Arlovskaya, it's good to hear from you. I need a favour. It's Hungary…..okay, danke. *hangs up*

Prussia: What did the frau say?

Germany: She'll be over ASAP.

Sealand: Who did you call?

Germany: You'll see.

Hungary: AUSTRIAAAAA- *bang* OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU CU- *hit again* GIVE MY FRYING PAN FOR FUCK'S SAKE! *lots of banging and crashing*

Germany: Well that was fast.

Hungary: *stops screaming and falls on the floor*

Belarus: *walks in, dragging Hungary's unconscious body* Damn that girl.

Sealand: Belarus?

Belarus: *sigh* This fuckin' girl, man. Personally I'm not a fan.

Germany: Nice to see you, Nat.

Belarus: You too, Lud.

Prussia: HEY NATALIA~ *glomp*

Belarus: *blush* Sigh, hello Gilbert.

Sealand: But don't you chase after Russia all the time?

Belarus: Well, not anymore. I realized it was pointless, so as much as I admire him, I leave him be. I want to focus on the occult more.

Sealand: Oh.

Austria: WE'VE DEFEATED HUNGARY!

Belarus: AHEM. ** I** DEFEATED HUNGARY.

Austria: WHAT THE FUCK EVER, BITCH. LET'S CELEBRATE WITH A GOOD OLD FASHIONED GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY!

AND SO, THE PARTY COMMENCED.

* * *

**A note, calling them by their Country Name is formal. Calling them by their Human Name is informal, and isn't normally done. At least, in this fanfic XD**

**I'll be using the human names more, I promise. Also, I can add OCs in, as long as they're not Tasmania, Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, Slovenia, Aerican Empire, Saugeais, Coral Islands, Rose Islands, Andorra, and Confederate States of America.**

**Just give it's name, gender, and a brief personality description in the reviews. Thanks!**

**TheSemasin**


	10. HLW 10

**I'm sorry this chapter's so short. The OC arc is REALLY long (and unfinished, if you still wanna add OCs), and I wanted it to be its own thing aside from the German Sparkle Party**.

**In fact, my friend who wrote almost all of it started it before this chapter was even made.**

**I'm so excited for it!**

**And the best part about this chapter is that Germany get's two lines.**

**LOGIC.**

**Anyway, my friends, shine bright for Lord Doitsu.**

**Enjoy the chapter~**

* * *

Belarus: Jesus Christ, Austria! Where the hell did you get all the supplies?!

Austria: I HAVE A STASH IN MY 10 PIANOS.

Belarus: Oh.

Finland: MOIMOI SEALAND.

Sealand: Hey, mom…

Finland: DID I EVER TELL YOU YOU'RE ADOPTED.

Sealand: Well, yes. My real family is England.

Finland: YOU HAVE A MOM TOO, YOU KNOW.

Sealand: *le gasp* REALLY?! SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOU?

Finland: *smacks Sealand* YES NOW STOP IT. BERWALD WHERE'S MAH PHONE.

Sweden: *hands iPhone* Here it is, honey.

Finland: Thank you~ Now let's see here.

Sealand: *squeals*

Finland: YOUR PARENTS ARE ENGLAND AND FRANCE. ((NOT FRUK OKAY EXCEPT IF YOU LIKE THAT SORT OF THING THEN KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.))

Sealand: WAIT WHAT.

France: WHAT?

Finland: France helped build your, ahem, "country", Sealand. ((It's true.))

France: I did? Oh, oui, I did!

Sweden: *kicks France in the balls* WELL TOO BAD HE'S OUR KID NOW.

France: *collapses*

Spain: NOW NOW MI AMIGOS, THIS IS SURELY NOT THE TIME OR THE PLACE TO BE BEATING UP FRANCE. LET'S ENJOY THE PARTY, SI?

Finland: FINE. *chugs alcohol*

Spain: Er, mi amigo, shouldn't you lay off on the alcohol?

Finland: I'M A MOTHER, YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND. BERWALD'S ALWAYS AT IKEA AND I'M LEFT TO TAKE CARE OF THAT THING. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS.

China: I FEEL YA BRO.

China and Finland: *manly hug with manly tears*

Germany: I didn't invite these people. I don't like these people.

Belarus: I feel ya.

Prussia: KESESESESEEEE I BET YOU CAN'T DRINK MORE THAN ME, DENNY!

Denmark: WELL YOU BET WRONG. *chugs 10 bottles of beer and falls to the ground*

Prussia: KESESESEEEEEEEEEE! *chugs 11 bottles and falls to the ground*

America: *laughing at them*

Serbia: Pfft. You're all pussies. *on her 15th*

Andorra: AM I A PUSSY, DANI?

Serbia: You especially.

Andorra: D:

Belarus: Hey you guys.

America: HI COMMIE'S SISTER WHO'S SURPRISINGLY HOT.

Belarus: *thwacks him* ((I SHIP IT I MEAN-))

Serbia: Try not to step on 2/3 of the Awesome Trio.

Belarus: *steps on them purposely* OOPS.

America: Soooo… WHO WANT'S A FOURSOME?! :D

Belarus:…

Andorra:…

Serbia:…

America: :D

Hungary: *knocks America out with her frying pan* BELARUS YOU BITCH.

Belarus: Ah, shit.

Serbia: Oh goodie. Here comes my little sister and her dreaded frying pan.

Andorra: Her face looks like a squished tomato with makeup.

Hungary: YOU FUCKIN BEAT ME UP WHEN I HAD TO GET MY AUSTRIA BUT NOOOO YOU WERE ALL LIKE BAM SO NOW IT'S TIME FOR MY PAYBA-

Belarus: *punches her in the nose and knocks her out*

Serbia: Well that takes care of that.

Andorra: I think she lost a tooth.

America: MORE LIKE IT RAN AWAY!

Serbia:…

Belarus:…

Andorra:…

Hungary: *is unconscious*

America: :D

Serbia: No America.

Belarus: Just no.

France: Hey ladies~ What happened to Prussia?

Belarus: I sent his soul to the darkest pits of hell.

France: Seems legit.

Spain: So, do you guys wanna dance?

Prussia: I LIKE DANCING.

Belarus: Guess Satan didn't wanna handle him.

Serbia: No, I don't. Knock him back out.

AND SO, FRANCE DANCED WITH HUNGARY (unconscious girls can't say no), SPAIN DANCED WITH ANDORRA, AMERICA DANCED WITH BELARUS, AND PRUSSIA DRAGGED SERBIA TO DANCE WITH HIM.

Austria: IN CELEBRATION OF DEFEATING HUNGARY, I WILL PLAY THIS NEW SOMNG I WROTE. *plays Sick Bubblegum*

Germany: Isn't that a Skrillex song?

Austria: I AM SKRILLEX.

THE END OF THE PARTY YOU KNOW WHAT FUCK THIS SHIT.

TILL THE NEXT ACT~!

* * *

**Finland is the best mom ever okay.**

**I'm still taking OCs if you wanna enter yours. Just PM me or leave them in the reviews. I need a brief description of their personality, their Country, and their Gender.**

**My friend, who basically wrote all of the OC stuff, is derpmaster_gumi on instagram. Go follow her please.**

**Thank you~!**


	11. HLW 11

**You can tell what I wrote and what I didn't write.**

**As said before, my awesome friend Nicole wrote pretty much everything XD**

**I love her so much.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

**Hetalia is not mine. Yeah.**

* * *

**ACT ADVENTURES OF THE OCS**

Georgia: MUMMYYY

Confederate: DA FUCK ARE YOU?

Georgia: I'm Georgia ; A ;

Confederate: oh. BUT IM NOT YO MAMA.

Georgia: YES YOU ARE.

Confederate: THEN WHO'S THE FATHER.

Gerogia: AMERICA :D

Confederate: *chokes* THAT WOULD BE INCEST DEARY.

Georgia: Oh I know.

Confederate: THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN. GTFO.

Georgia: I SAID GTFO *throws her out a window* …*sips tea*

**LATER**

Georgia: *le creis*

Andorra: Aw person what's wrong~? D:

Georgia: Mommy denies that she's my mommy.

Andorra: Awe! Who?

Georgia: Confederate.

Andorra:…That's because she's actually the daddy and _I'm _the mommy.

Georgia: But how is that possible you're both femal-

Andorra: *covers her mouth* NO. DON'T CRUSH MY DREAMS OF HAVING A CHILD WITH MERI OKAY.

Georgia:…Wat.

Andorra: NOTHING. GO TO BED.

Georgia: BUT MOOOOOOOOOMMMM

Andorra: BUT NOTHING. *throws out the window*

Georgia: ; A ;

**LATER LATER**

Georgia: *le crying again*

France: Awe person why are you crying?

Georgia: Because my parents suck ; A ;

France: Oh? Who are they?

Georgia: Andorra and Confederate.

France: *chokes*

Georgia: Uh…Sir?

France:…Well forget them. You can always come with me~ ohon~

Georgia: …

France: …?

Georgia: *le kicks in the balls*

France: KAOSOAKSLA- WHATTHEHELL

Georgia: DADDY SAYS NO GOING HOME WITH FRENCH IDIOTS *le runs away*

**EVEN LATER LATER**

Georgia: *le bumps into Russia, China, Miku, and Ron* Ah, sorry

China: It's alright, aru.

Georgia: Aru…?

China: Don't ask.

Georgia: Um…alright.

Miku: Mommy is a communist so she's weird and she does things like tha-

China: *kicks Miku*SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ron: What? She's right.

Georgia: *stares into China's soul*

China: ._.

Georgia: *punches China in the face*

China: WTF….ARU.

Georgia: MOMMY AND DADDY SAID NO TALKING TO COMMUISTS! *le runs away*

Russia: Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol *chases her*

Georgia: AHHHHHHHHHH ; A ; *runs like an Italian*

**MEANWHILE**

Bosnia: IIIIIIIII'VE GOT NO STRINGS. TO HOLD ME DOWN.

Croatia: Hi, Bosnia.

Bosnia: *starts squishing one of her buns, she has twin buns and curly hair* YOUR HAIR IS POOFY, CROATIA.

Croatia: Yes it is. I keep it in twin bu-

Bosnia: IT'S LIKE I'M SQUISHING HAIRY BOOBS.

Croatia: ._.

Bosnia:…what.

Croatia: I feel violated.

Bosnia: *smacks Croatia and points to Montenegro* IT WAS HIS IDEA.

Montenegro: *minion voice* WHAAAAAAAAAAA?

Croatia and Bosnia: …

Slovenia: DID YOU JUST SLAP MY FUCKING SISTER.

Bosnia: WHY YES I DID.

Slovenia: I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY SOLDIER. HAVE A NICE DAY. *rolls away*

Croatia: BIG BROTHER WHYYYY?

Slovenia: TURTLE RAPE THAT'S WHY.

Serbia: *le poking Romania* HEY ROMANIAAA

Romania: VLAD THE IMPALER, BORN IN-

Serbia: OH GOD NO PLEASE STOP. *starts rocking on the floor*

Romania: *laughing*

Bosnia: *le gasp* SERBIA. YOU FIEEEEEEENNNDDD

Serbia: *whilst stabbing Romania* What did I do this time?

Bosnia: I don't know.

Serbia: Oh.

Bulgaria: HEY BOSNIA WANNA GO BUY A PENIS PEN?!

Bosnia: OH HELL THE FUCK YES. *skips away with Bulgaria*

Montenegro: WAIT FOR MEEEEE! *runs after them*

Serbia: NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.

Romania: I think I'm bleeding out.

Croatia: I feel violated.

**EVEN MORE LATER LATER**

Bosnia: *le running around in underwear*

Georgia: DA FUCK.

Bosnia: YOLOOOOOOO-*trips*

Georgia: HA.

Bosnia: STFU. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU.

Georgia: I'm Georgia…desu yo.

Bosnia: HEY THAT'S SEALAND'S THING.

Georgia: WELL I JUST FUCKING STOLE IT!

Andorra: ;3; THEY GROW UP SO FAST. *le stealing France's wallet*

Georgia: Who are you?

Bosnia: I'm Baunshaqueedelafahntria.

Georgia: Wat.

Bosnia: Baunshaqueedelafahntria.

Georgia: Oh.

Bosnia: You're not too bad.

Georgia: Thanks.

Bosnia: No problem.

Russia: *catches up to Georgia*

Georgia: SHITSHITSHIT- *runslikeabawss*

Bosnia: *runs with her* WOOOOOO WHEREAREWEGOING.

Georgia: UHHHH….24.

Bosnia: SEEMS LEGIT.

**EVEN MORE THAN MORE LATER LATER**

Georgia: WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE.

Serbia: NO. MORE LIKE, DA FUCK ARE YOU?

Georgia: I'm Georgia .3.

Serbia: Oh okay.

Bosnia: IS THIS WHERE 24 IS.

Montenegro: WANNA KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN 24?

France: 69~?

Montenegro: OH YES.

Georgia: *kicks France in the balls again* NO FRENCH IDIOTS ALLOWED!

Bosnia: YOU TELL EM.

* * *

**Serbia, Montenegro, Croatia, and Slovenia are my OCs.**

**Confederate and Andorra are Nicole's OCs.**

**Georgia is MissSerendipity2013's OC.**

**Bosnia is EpicBS's OC.**

**I'll have the rest in the next chapter.**

**If you want your OC in, I need Country, Gender, and Brief Personality description.**

**I know I've said that like 5 times now but I'm emphasizing it.**

**Yeah. HAVE AN AWESOME WHATEVER DAY OF THE WEEK IT IS FOR YOU. **

**:)**


	12. HLW 12

**SOOOOOO SOSOSOSO SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE!**

**I just got my laptop earlier this week, and I only got Microsoft Word 2013 yesterday, so I haven't been able to do anything. However, now that I have it I can write more, and write faster!**

**Anyway, here's the next Chapter in the OCs section of the story.**

**Oh, and guess what? Croatia's an official character now!**

**And not a girl!**

**Seriously he looks like a drug addict. It's really weird.**

**Anyway, I guess my design we can pretend is fem!Croatia. From here on out Croatia is a boy/criesforever**

* * *

**MEANWHILE**

Tokyo: *le poking Romano's cheek*

Romano: Will you fucking stop that already?! /

Tokyo: Nope~ o3o

Confederate: Hey guys~ *glares at Tokyo* What are you guys doing?

Tokyo: Poking Romano~

Romano: Stoooopp itttt.

Confederate: He doesn't seem to like it~

Tokyo: *shrugs* But I always do this to him. *continues poking him*

Confederate:…Imma poke him too! *le pokes*

Tokyo: *death glares Confederate*

Confederate: *smirks*

Romano: *completely oblivious*

Tokyo…I'm going to put on some music~ *puts on Vocaloid music*

Confederate: Da fuck.

Tokyo: What?

Confederate: I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS SHIT.

Tokyo: It's Japanese. You speak a lot of languages, don't you?

Confederate: YEAH BUT JAPANESE ISN'T ONE OF THEM.

Tokyo: It should be.

Confederate: I'M NOT LEARNING JAPANESE AND ITS THREE FUCKING ALPHABETS.

Tokyo: OH STOP COMPLAINING. YOU COULD LEARN IT YOU'RE JUST LAZY YOU GOD DAMN AMERICAN.

Confederate: YA WANNA FUCKING GO?

Tokyo: BRING IT ON, BITCH.

Tokyo and Confederate: *le catfight*

Japan: I SHIP IT.

Tokyo and Confederate:…whut.

Japan: YOU HEARD NOTHING.

Georgia: *magically appears* NO JAPAN MOMMY'S WITH ANDORRA. OR AMERICA. I DON'T KNOW ANYMOREEEE.

Romano:…WHATTHEFUCK

Confederate: WAIT WHAAAAAT. I DENY EVERYTHING THIS BITCH SAYS.

Georgia: HEY I'M NOT A BITCH ; A ;

Bosnia: *randomly slaps Tokyo*

Tokyo: WHAT THE HELL.

Bosnia: IT WAS GEORGIAAAAAA.

Georgia: NO IT WASN'T- why does the world hate me?

Canada: I ASK MYSELF THAT QUESTION EVERY DAY.

Italy: *randomly eating pasta in the corner* Did someone say something?

Canada: ASNDFJKLASKLFJISFHLJSKFHJSFKB

Tori: The world SUCKS. That's why me and Italy surrender to it all the time.

Romano: Who are you?

Tori: I'm Tori. .3.

Romano: Okay. You know my brother?

Tori: If you mean Italy, then yeah. We're dating.

Romano: WHAT. HOW DID /HE/ GET A GIRLFRIEND BEFORE ME?

Confederate and Tokyo: *catfight in the corner*

Tori: I don't…know?

Romano: AND HOW LONG HAS THIS BEEN GOING ON FOR.

Tori: Four years.

Romano: HOW HAVE I NOT KNOWN ABOUT THIS?!

Italy: What. But I don't- ah whatever.

Confederate: OH GOD FOUR. *emotional breakdown*

Tokyo: Da fuck.

Confederate: I'M TETRAPHOBIC OKAY.

Tokyo:…you're afraid of Tetris?

Confederate: NO! *facepalm*

Russia: THE TETRIS THEME SONG IS RUSSIAN~~~~

Georgia: I am never playing that song again.

Russia: Why~?

Georgia: BECAUSE IT'S RUSSIA.

Russia: Kolkolkol *le chases Georgia again*

Bosnia: NANANANANANANANABATMAN~~ *le flies over to Russia dressed as batman and knocks him out by hitting him in the head with a baseball bat*

Georgia: What is this madness?!

Confederate: Madness? THIS. IS. PATRICK. *throws her out a window* AND DON'T COME BACK.

Georgia: ; A ; *le crashes on top of Edinburgh*

Edinburgh: WHAT THE HELL.

Georgia: Wah…OHMYGOD I'M SORRY.

Edinburgh: Whatever…it's not like I wanna forgive you or anything…BAKA. Can you get off me now?

Georgia: OKAY. *le gets off*

England and London: *le walking towards Georgia and Edinburgh talking about how being British is awesome*

Edinburgh: Oh god.

London: Oh look, it's Edinburgh. The sheep humper.

Edinburgh: What.

London: Don't all Scotts hump sheep?

Edinburgh: No. That's a fucking stereotype.

London: WE ARE STEREOTYPES.

Edinburgh: SO.

London: Sheep-humper.

Edinburgh: Limey Bastard.

America: HEY YOU STOLE THAT FROM TONNY!

Edinburgh: *ignores America*

America: Well then. But srslybro, stop fighting. Aren't Scottish and British people like, the same thing?

Edinburgh, London, and England: *death glares America*

America: What.

London: THERE IS A HUGE DIFFERENCE.

America: What? One humps sheep and the other doesn't?

Edinburgh: OKAY WHERE IS EVERYONE GETTING THIS FROM.

America: *casually plays the stereotype song*

Confederate: *facepalms* THAT SONG MAKES FUN OF US TOO YOU KNOW.

America: Oh.

Confederate: YEAH. *drags America away by the cowlick*

America: WHY THE HAAAIIIIRRRR *dies inside*

Everyone else: ._.

* * *

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya Hidekazu**

**Some characters unofficially belong to me. UNLIKE CROATIA/shot**

**Tokyo belongs to tokyo_chan on instagram**

**Tori belongs to japanese_lithuanians on instagram**

**London and Edinburgh belong to unknow-for-life (Sorry if we used them wrong, I don't know much about the UK's towns/cities!)**

**Bosnia/Baunshaqueedelafahntria belongs to EpicBS**

**Georgia(state) belongs to MissSerendipity2013**

**Oh, and I'll apologize now for our constant abuse of your OCs (mainly Georgia and Bosnia, gonna be honest here) but it's all in good fun. Serbia's supposed to be my one serious OC and look at her.**

**Anyway, sorry again, and I hope you all enjoyed ^u^**

**Update: And remember children, don't be a Confedere. It's like Tsundere, but American. Sortof. **


	13. HLW 13

**ATTENTION. I SHALL NO LONGER BE TAKING OCs**

**This one's a little long, but whatever. I had barely any ideas for this chapter, and my friend wrote the first part. **

**And guess what? All the Nordics have finally made an appearance, starting this chapter!**

**I'll probably use them more later. I like writing for Finland.**

**Oh, and Turkey makes his first appearance. But he's special.**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

**SO MUCH LATER THE OLD NARRATOR LEFT AND WE NEEDED TO HIRE A NEW ONE**

South Korea: *le poking China* Aniki. Aniki. Aniki. Aniki. Aniki. China. China. China. China. Chuugoku. Chuugoku. Chuugoku. Chuugoku. Chuugoku.

China: WHAATTTT?!

South Korea: Hii.

China: *facepalms* Fuck me.

South Korea: DON'T MIND IF I DOOO *fucks China*

China: WHY DOES EVERYONE LIKE TO FUCK ME?!

South Korea: wat.

China: Think. How do you think Hong Kong was born?

South Korea: I don't get it.

China: *whispers* Britain was drunk and- *whisper whisper*

South Korea: Oh god why.

China: I DON'T KNOOOWWWWW

South Korea: All I know is that tacos originated in America.

America: DID SOMEBODY SAY AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?

China: fml

South Korea: Or was it Mexico? I think it was Mexico.

America: What's a Mexico?

China: *facepalms* The country below you.

America: Oh. _That one._

China: Yeah, aru.

Mexico: Why does everyone hate me? ;-; Theyshouldhateonamerica

America: Because you're you. NOW GO MOW MY LAWN.

Mexico: OH HEEEEELLLLLLL NO. WHY DON'T YOU GO AND BE THE LITTLE ASSHOLE OF THE WORLD NOW.

America: OH YOU DID NOT JUST GO THERE.

Mexico: WELL I FUCKING DID.

America and Mexico: *fight in the corner*

Spain: TOMMAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS SS

Romano: Okay what the hell.

Spain: I liek tomatoes

America: Yes, and I like burgers.

Spain: Si, and I like tomatoes.

America: I LIKE BURGEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Spain: S-si, and I like tomatoes…

America: I LIEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKK BUUUUUUUURRRRRRGGGGERRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSSSS

Spain: *hides behind Romano* On another note, DUN TALK _SSHSHHIITTTTT_ ABOOT MAH MEXICO YOU FUCKERS.

America: I DO WHAt I WANT BEOTCH.

Romano: AND YOU FUCKERS WONDER WHY I CURSE. *flips table and struts away*

Russia: *walks in the room* VODKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *leaves*

Everyone: Da fuck.

Iceland: (fucking finally) I'm just gonna sit here with this fucking thing on my head. *sits with puffin on his head*

Norway: Have fun with that. BUT CALL ME BIG BROTHER.

Iceland: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU D:

Mexico: Oh kitty I love you. *le stroking kitty*

Greece: HDBAFABHSKBJSKDLBJKSDVLJKDSVLJ *tackles Mexico*

Mexico: OH GOD WHYYYYYYYYYY

North Korea: I will fUcKiNg kill you all.

America: I'm callin bullshits woman lady. The words spewing from your mouth are INSANE.

North Korea: I HAVE NUCLEAR WEAPOOONNNSSSSSSS

America: And you think I don't? Bitch don't mess with me.

North Korea: I WILL ATTACK YOUR COUNTRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

America: I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY.

North Korea: Fatass.

America: Faggot.

North Korea: Loser.

America: Fucktard.

North Korea: Asshole.

America: Dick.

Georgia: *throws North Korea out a window* NO COMMUNISTS ALLOWED HERE!

North Korea: *flies back in* WELL TOO FUCKING BAD.

Georgia: Oh.

Greece: *still attacking Mexico*

Mexico: WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?1! *cries*

Nigeria: jeSUS WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING GREECE

Greece: SHE WAS PETTING A KITTY!

Mexico: ._.

Nigeria: Oh. Figures.

Pakistan: I like cats.

Greece: *^* WHATCHU JUS SAY MOFO

Pakistan: KIDDING. KIDDING. JESUS

Greece: *hisses*

Nigeria: Now now, Greece. Maybe we should just talk about this instead of attacking innocent Mexicans!

America: Oh look, it's another person I don't like.

North Korea: FEEAAARRR MEEEEEEE

Pakistan: America. Pleasant.

America: Indeed.

Pakistan and America: *silent staredown*

Mexico: ._.

Nigeria: We done playing sexual tension yet.

Greece: *hisses*

Mexico: *screams*

Nigeria: OMG STOP THAT

Serbia: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT SERBIA'S GONNA FIX THE PROBLEM NOW

Nigeria: I was handling it fine though.

Serbia: *kuudere mode activated* You handled it as well as Britain handles alcohol. Let the big girl step in.

Nigeria: WELL.

Georgia: I'm still here you know.

Mexico: Nobody cares.

Greece: *hisses*

Mexico: *screams*

Romania: SERBIA WE HAVE A CODE SKY BLUE HURRY UP

Serbia: OMFG NO. NONONONONONNONONOONNOO

Turkey: HI FRIENDSSSSS~~~~~ and Greece.

Greece: *hisses*

Serbia: GET THE EVER-LOVING CRAP OUT OF HERE.

Turkey: Serbia! Darling! It's been a while!

Serbia: I DON'T LIKE YOU.

Pakistan: I like you Turkey

Serbia: SHUT UP NO ONE ASKED YOU.

Turkey: So are you and Romania going out yet?

Serbia: HELL NAW. HE LIKES HUNGARY.

Turkey: o_o

Pakistan: *awkward cheek scratch*

Nigeria: *looks away*

Georgia: :|

America: uh…..

Mexico and Greece: *still fighting*

North Korea: *eating a cronut*

Bosnia: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Romania: Serbia.

Serbia: Yes~?

Romania: I'm gonna fucking kill you.

Serbia: I invite you to try.

Romania: WELL FINE THEN.

Serbia: YEAH.

Romania: A FIGHT IT SHALL BE.

Serbia: FIGHT ON VAMPY.

Romania: YOU GOT IT PSYCHOPATH.

Bosnia: Oh will you two make out already?

Serbia and Romania: *awkward silence, whilst staring at Bosnia*

Turkey: I like this kid.

Bulgaria: WELL NO ONE LIKES YOU.

Pakistan and Nigeria: WE LIKE TURKEY

Bulgaria: EXACTLY.

Pakistan and Nigeria: *offended*

Montenegro: I LIKE CELERY STICKS

America: WELL I DON'T.

Mexico: I AM MEXICO.

Greece: NO SHIT.

Georgia: I HAVE ABANONMENT ISSUES *cries forever*

Aerica: HAVE NO FEAR MY FRIENDS, AERICA SHALL SAVE THE DAY~! *blows up the building*

America: THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU AERICA.

Aerica: D:

AND THEN SANTA CLAUSE FARTED RAINBOWS ON THEM ALL.

THE FUCKING END.

OKAY FINE THE STORY'S NOT OVER YET.

YEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

* * *

**Hetalia is owned by Himaruya**

**Serbia, Aerica, and Montenegro are unofficially owned by me**

**Georgia (state) belongs to MissSerendipity2013**

**Bosnia belongs to EpicBS**

**Mexico belongs to karlarenee**

**Nigeria and Pakistan belong to HandMTomatoes**

**North Korea's just kinda there.**

**Don't expect another quick update, I have no clue what to write and I'm out of material to post :(**


	14. HLW 14

**Hey guys! I finally got a new idea for this chapter, and it involves the Nordics, who really needed a bigger appearance. **

**Just like in the show.**

**Anyway, those of you who are fans of Switzerland and Liechtenstein, you guys will be very happy in this chapter, for they finally make a formal appearance!**

**Anyway, this chapter is rather short, so sorry if it's not that good. Next chapter will be better, I promise, because I already have a good idea for it!**

**Maybe adding Seychelles...Idk yet because I'm honestly nnot a big Seychelles fan. Don't ask me why, I just don't like her. And Turkey. **

** I really don't like Turkey.**

**Oh well, enough of my rambling! Let's get on with this!**

* * *

**ACT NORDICKS**

Finland: MOIMOI BITCH. *snap* FINLAND IS IN THE HOOOOUUUUSSSEEEE

Denmark: Hey SlUtBaG how are you today?

Finland: *bitch slaps* SHUT YO DANISH MOUTH YOU HOOKER.

Denmark: D:

Norway: You guys are so annoying.

Denmark: NORWAY SAVE ME *hides behind Norway*

Norway: FUCK TO THE NO. *shoves him out a window*

Sweden: I MADE PANCAKES SO Y'ALL BETTER SHUT UP IF YOU WANT THEM.

Everyone: *imminent silence*

Sweden: THOUGHT SO.

Iceland: I pray for the day I find out I'm adopted.

Norway: Well you're not. So suck it.

Iceland: But I want to be.

Mr. Puffin: I AM A MOTHER SHITTING PUFFIN.

Iceland: NO FUCKING WAY.

Mr. Puffin: *shits a mother*

Finland: *smacks the puffin, kills the mother*

Iceland: Oh.

Finland: *gets the shotgun* I WILL SHOOT YOU PUFFIN.

Mr. Puffin: D:

Switzerland: *pops in from the window with a shotgun* HELL NO MOTHERFUCKER.

Finland and Switzerland: *shooting each other*

Sealand: What's going on?

Sweden: Mommy's on her period, Peter.

Sealand: What's a period?

Denmark: WELLLLLLL

Sweden: *thumps him* No shut up.

Liechtenstein: I'm stealing your alcohol.

Iceland: Aren't you underage?

Liechtenstein: Bitch I might be.

Norway: OHRLYNAOW.

Denmark: EXCUSE ME BITCH?

Liechtenstein: JUST TRY AND STOP ME FAGGOT.

Denmark: OH

IT.

IS.

ON.

Liechtenstein: *gets an AK-47 all up in dis bitch*

Denmark: *gets his bazooka*

Norway: Ready…and…FIGHTGO.

Liechtenstein: *massive shooting*

Denmark: *shoots fuCKING LEGOS*

Liechtenstein: OH HELL NO. *runs away*

Denmark: TAKE MY WRATH YOU SWINE.

America: I need to make an appearance or this isn't a chapter. *leaves*

England: *walks in with Romania* Jeez Norway what the hell is going on here?

Norway: Oh you know…

Romania: No I don't.

Norway: Just a normal Sunday…IN SLOTHMANIA.

Slothmania: YEEEaaAAHAHAHAHHAAHAAHHHHHHH

Robot Pirate Island: No Slothmania stop

Slothmania: NO. HONEYBADGER DON'T CARE. HONEYBADGER DON'T GIVE A SHIT.

Romania: What the heck is Slothmania?

Slothmania: THE FUTUREEEEEE *backs into the shadows*

Romania: D:

England: That happened.

Norway: WELL IT SHOULDN'T HAVE.

Iceland: What happened?

Norway: I DON'T KNOWWWW.

Romania: You're the one who summoned it.

England: Maybe it's a demon?

Norway: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED OKAY. IT JUST SORTA HAPPENED.

England: Let's all pretend like it never happened.

Romania and Norway: Okay.

Iceland: What happened?!

Norway: Absolutely NOTHING.

Iceland: BUT-

Norway: GO WATCH FINLAND AND SWITZERLAND KILL THEMSELVES.

Iceland: Fineeeee…..

Switzerland: I AM THE ONLY CHARACTER BY LAW OF CONTINUITY TO HAVE A SHOTGUN YOU GODDAMN BINT.

Finland: THE FUCK IS A BINT?

England: YOU LITTLE SHIT I LIKE YOU.

Switzerland: HELL YEAH BRO.

Finland: THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!

Denmark: YO MAMA.

Switzerland: *shoots Denmark's kneecaps*

Norway: exCUSE ME I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN SHOOT DENMARK.

Denmark: YEAH. Oww….

Iceland: WE NEED A DOCTOR.

Liechtenstein: I'm a doctor.

Denmark: get the FUCK out.

Liechtenstein: FINE.

Romania: I NEED A LINE.

Switzerland: FINLAND PUT THE GUN DOWN.

Finland: MAKE ME DIPSHIT.

Switzerland: FINE. *le shooting recommences*

Sealand: I'M SO CONFUSSSEDDDD

Sweden: EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Everyone else: *silence*

Sweden: I MADE MORE PANCAKES.

AND SO, EVERYONE ENJOYED SWEDEN'S PANCAKES INSTEAD OF KILLING EACH OTHER.

Canada: EXCUSE ME BITCH.

WE SHOULD DO THAT INSTEAD OF WARS FROM NOW ON.

Canada: STOP IGNORING ME!

Wait why was Switzerland fighting.

Canada: AAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

* * *

**The joke is that America is in like every chapter and I really don't know why.**

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya**

**No characters in this chapter belong to me *sobs***

**And I'm serious about the whole pancake thing. Instead of fighting over which ship is better talk it out while bonding over pancakes.**

**It's legit.**

**WAIT I KNOW WHY AMERICA'S IN EVERY CHAPTER NOW IT'S BECAUSE HE'S THE STORY PICTURE OMG WHAT SORCERY IS THIS**


	15. HLW 15

**SORRY FOR THE LATE UPDATE ;-;**

**Microsoft Word was having problems with activation and shiz but it's okay now.**

**Anyway, I wanted to do something with Canada but it ended up going wrong.**

**Oh well, we get more Axis Powers and Taiwan's first appearance!**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter!**

* * *

**ACT CANADIAN SPIRIT **

Canada: *le riding through town on his motorcycle like a pimp*

Japan: And then they all died. The end.

Italy: THAT'S-A PRETTY FUCKED UP-A STORY JAPAN.

Romano: I liked it.

Germany: Me too.

Romano: WELL NOW I HATE IT.

Germany: WELLLL FUCK YOU TOO.

Japan: SILENCE YOU INFERIOR BEINGS. I SENSE THE PRESENCE OF G NUMBER 8.

Italy: What-a the fuck.

Japan: THAT COUNTRY ABOVE AMERICA DICKWAD.

Italy, Romano and Germany: OOOOOOOOOOH.

Canada: You takin' about me?

Italy: woOAHH JESUS WHEN DID YOU GET COOL

Germany: I like your motorcycle Canada.

Italy: EXCUSE-A ME DOITSU, I'M-A PRETTY SURE I WAS-A TALKING.

Germany: Well.

Japan: Sure has gotten seme in here.

Romano: YOU SAYIN IM GAY

Canada: Actually he said your brother's gay.

Romano: Oh. Well DUUHHHH.

America: MAKING AN APPERANCE~

Confederate: NO. *hits him with a cinder block*

Germany: MEIN GOTT.

Canada: I really hate you people.

Italy: Oh shut-a your mouth you-a ho.

Canada: WELL.

Georgia: Why am I here? I thought we finished all the OC shit.

Bosnia: *le smoking macaroons* I dunno. Because we're funny?

Georgia and Bosnia:….AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH ahh….

Georgia: Good one.

Bosnia: I know right?

Confederate: NO GTFO *throws them out the plot device window*

England: I HAVE EYEBROWS.

Everyone: ….

Canada: Why yes. Yes you do.

Japan: I do too.

Germany: Pfft. Gods don't need eyebrows.

Austria: Does Skrillex need eyebrows?

Germany: Hell if I know.

Hungary: EITHER WAY I LOVE YOU~

Austria: MEIN GOTT YANDERES SUCK!

Belarus: OMFG NO. *smacks*

Canada: WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING FROM?!

Russia: BECOMEONEWITHMOTHERRUSSIADA

Canada: NO *smacks with a moose*

Belarus: WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT

Canada: THE CANADIAN SPIRIT *twinkle sparkle*

America: YEAH WELL I HAVE FREEDOM.

Canada: YEAH WELL I HAVE MORE. *hits with a rabid beaver*

Belarus: This is a fanservice chapter, isn't it.

Canada: YUP. *loses his shirt and shoes his big muscles and shit*

Belarus: Of course.

All the other males: *lose their shirts as well*

Japan: I FEEL SO VIOLATED *starts rocking in a corner*

Taiwan: *casually taking pictures of Japan* THIS IS GOING ON TUMBLR.

ALRIGHT I THINK WE'RE DONE HERE.

* * *

**Casually ships Bosnia and Georgia what.**

**Georgia belongs to MissSerendipity2013 **

**Bosnia belongs to EpicJACI**

**Confederate belongs to russianderpkitten**

**Everyone else and Hetalia belongs to Himaruya**

**Aerica belongs to no one because she's God not Doitsu**

**watch that be true.**

**ANYWAAYYYYYYY**

**If you have any ideas you wanna submit, don't hesitate to PM me! And if you have any form of fanart (going far-fetched here ;n;) or cosplay video based off Hetalolwhut send it to my tumblr ****ThePotatoster**

**Feel free to post a cosplay video or a voice over whatever if you want, just make sure to credit me and notify me that you're doing so. Trust me, I'd fucking die of happiness ;u;**

**Also, if you liked the OC section, Nicole's instagram is derpypandacosplay if you wanna talk to her about it.**

**Thanks for all the support guys and the over 3k views! **

**~TheSemasin~**


	16. HLW 16

**Hey guys! Look who came up with something!**

**Anyway, I have a fondness for this chapter. And as you read on, you shall see why. **

**Also next chapter I think I'm going to do some more Japan, except Taiwan will be there too.**

**I'm going to have fun with Taiwan.**

**Maybe Thailand will show up. I'm not sure yet.**

**Anyway, enjoy the chapter, guys!**

* * *

**ACT yeah we get it it's an act**

Japan: Hey Italia-chan, can I ask a favour?

Romano: GET-A THE FUCK OUT.

Italy: SHUT-A THE FUCK UP, FRATELLO!

Romano: WELL.

Italy: Better. What is it?

Japan: Well, I created a documentary. I was wondering if you'd like to watch.

Romano: HELL NO YOU-A CHING CHONG FREAK.

Japan: D:

Italy: I SAID-A SHUT THE FUCK UP FRATELLO YOU-A DIPSHIT!

Romano: D:

Italy: Sure Japan, I'll-a watch it.

Japan: Ah, Arigatō! *puts on the tape*

Romano: Grumble mutter mutter.

**THE LIFE OF A YUGOSLAVIAN. BY HONDA KIKU.**

Italy: You-a stalked them with your camera, didn't you

Japan: Tōzen.

**Japan: And here we have the wild Bosnia, in its natural habitat. Bosnia is a small boy with brown hair, brown eyes, and tan skin. He's a complete derp.**

Bosnia: HEY HERZEGOVINA, I SMOKED SOME WEED TODAY

Herzegovina: Oh. Uh. Great.

**Japan: And with the Bosnia, is the Herzegovina. Herzegovina is a much taller man with slicked back brown hair, brown eyes, and tan skin. He's a fuckin buzz kill.**

Herzegovina: HEY.

**Japan: Anyway, over here we have the wild Croatia. He takes much after Turkey in appearance, but is much lazier (and fatter) than Turkey, with more of an orange colour for his hair than Turkey. He's over-eccentric when in conversation, but his actions never live up to it. He is most likely a drug dealer.**

Croatia: Hey brig brother Slovenia, did you see that millipede over there? I was thinking of picking it up and scaring Serbia, but like, it's so far away.

Slovenia: You would've walked about two steps.

Croatia: And? Too much effort dude.

**Japan: Next to Croatia is Slovenia. The tallest of the Yugoslavians, and the most serious. His hair is also pretty spikey, like Denmark's, except more of a dark amber colour. Anyway, he doesn't say much, except when he's drunk. Like all the others, he's tan. Kuudere overload.**

Slovenia: Croatia, you're an idiot.

Croatia: LOVE YOU TOO ANIKI.

Slovenia: Don't you fucking start.

**Japan: Next is the wild Macedonia. He's tan with dark chocolate coloured hair and green eyes (fancy). He's pretty energetic, and likes to piss off his neighbour, the Greece.**

Macedonia: YO LOSER. ARE YOU EVER GONNA WAKE UP? LOL IM FUNNY BETTER INSTAGRAM THIS.

Greece: KILL. ME. NOW. Wait Japan what are you doing with that camera

**Japan: *hits Greece with a golf club* YOU SAW NOTHINGGGG *hisses* Anyway, let's move on. Up next is Montenegro. He's a fucking idiot. He's got really long black hair that's tied back in a low pony with more pale skin than the rest and dark blue eyes. As I said before, a fucking idiot.**

Montenegro: HEY KOSOVO DO YOU THINK THAT IF I PUT MY SCHOOL DAYS COPY INTO THE MICROWAVE IT'LL GET EVEN HOTTER?

Kosovo: Is that your PC game?

Montenegro: That and Kichiku Megane, yes.

Kosovo: Then no.

**Japan: And that's the social reject, Kosovo. He's trying to become his own country, much to his Sister's hatred. Most of the world is for it. Most. Anyway, he's the spitting image of his Sister, medium black hair with fairer skin than the rest and dark blue eyes. He's short, considering he's a child and all. The poor kid is trying to find a place in the world, surrounded by idiots. And Serbia.**

Kosovo: What's School Days even about, anyway?

Montenegro: Sex.

Kosovo:….what's that?

**Japan: And then there's Serbia. The leader of the Yugoslavians, and the only female of the group. A raging homicidal maniac, if you get her mad. Medium height, medium weight, and really small boobs. Well, compared to everyone else but Liechtenstein. Long black hair that's either held by a clip of in a bun, side bangs, fair skin and dark blue eyes with a scar and an eyepatch. Again, RAGING MANIAC.**

Serbia: Kosovo? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE. *le sword take out and shit ugh transitions*

Kosovo: MARSHMELLOWS *runs away*

Serbia: And what are _you _doing?

Montenegro: Sticking my erotic PC games into the microwave.

Serbia:….why?

Montenegro: THEY WEREN'T HOT ENOUGH.

**Japan: Sure is Mirai Nikki in here.**

Serbia: God, you're worse than Japan.

**Japan: *le pops out from behind a bush* HEY**

Serbia: And he emerges. *shoots camera*

*STATIC AND SHIT ugh I can't do this part*

**THE END**

**A KOREAN PRODUCTION.**

Japan: So what did you think?

China: IT SUCK BALL. *throws popcorn at him*

Japan: DON'T MAKE ME SLICE YOUR BACK AGAIN

Romano: WOAH IF ANYONE'S HURTING SOMEONE IT'LL BE ME.

South Korea: WELL IF ANYONE'S HURTING ANIKI I'LL BE HURTING THEM!

China and Japan: NO. GET OUT.

South Korea: D:

Romano: HE CAN STAY IF HE WANTS.

South Korea: :D

*le fighting between the group and such*

Serbia: Hey Italy, want some popcorn?

Italy: Sì, grazie senpai!

Japan: SHE'S YOUR SENPAI?!

Italy: Sì.

Japan: BUT I THOUGHT I WAS YOUR SENPAI!

Italy: no.

South Korea: Well Aniki is my senpai. (probably the first time I made him talk in lowercase letters)

China: WHAT THE FUCK NO I'M NOT MOTHER FUCKER ARU.

South Korea: SENPAI PLS NOTICE ME

China: WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS, A CHARITY BENEFIT ARU?

Japan: Who would want charity from you?

China: Aru?

Japan: YOU'RE A LOSER.

China: D:

Serbia, Romano and Italy: LE GASP!

South Korea: *walks up to Japan*

Japan: Oh? And what do _you _want?

South Korea: What the fuck did you just fucking say about my senpai, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me and my aniki? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

Romano and Serbia: OH DAMN MAN.

Italy: *whistles*

Japan: D:

China: Okay aru, I'm your senpai now.

South Korea: :D

OKAY WE'RE DONE HERE.

* * *

**Hetalia belongs to Himaruya**

**All the Yugoslavs are designs I made/didn't think up randomly.**

**Bosnia is not my OC kay.**

**Neither is Herzegovina or Macedonia. YET. Unless they become official.**

**Serbia, Kosovo, Montenegro, and Slovenia however are my OCs. I think Serbia should be a girl okay I don't care if everyone else is male.**

**Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter! Remember to write a review if you have any comments or suggestions on who to add.**

**PM me if you have any questions~!**

**~TheSemasin~**


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